Dogs, bollocks.

Meet Molly, she belongs to Sylvia the jeweller and we look after her every Friday. Last week we thought she deserved a special treat so Archie generously shared the liver that he was cooking for his lunch. I more sensibly had a cheese sandwhich. Molly ate the liver with abandon and soon our kindness was thrown back in our faces. Well, not exactly in our faces, it was thrown up on the kitchen carpet. One more reason to curse the previous owners of our flat for thinking that a carpet in the kitchen was a good idea. It has been one of those weeks.

Thanks to everyone for socky advice - I am now armed with some La Laine many coloured yarn and a quartet of 2.5mm needles. Still thinking about patterns and I've been looking into all of the suggestions. This week's Ebay purchase was a 1940's Knitting for the Services leaflet - socks and gloves. The socks are two needle affairs so I will be leaving them at home. For this trip, two needles would be cheating. I also had great plans to knit myself a wonderful red cardigan for taking to France, it was started and then Archie remembered that our sister in law was about to have a big birthday. Six balls of Kureyon later, I cast on 400 stitches on a circular needle and began the birthday scarf. Knitted and knitted and knitted, when the width was right I cast off to find a scarf three times the size it should be. That'll teach me to guestimate the gauge! After taking almost a week to knit it ripped down in a flash to return as scarf number two - using a pair of needles and a sensible number of stitches. There is a deadline of tomorrow to finish the blighter before we visit on Saturday. Then we fly to France on Monday. That only leaves Sunday for packing and planning. Aaaaargh.

Bollocks? This week, as well as cleaning dog vomit, knitting a scarf as long as a motorway and picking mice out of hats ( thanks Magnus ), I also photographed Sylvia's testicles. She had been commissioned to make testicular cufflinks for a gentleman's 40th birthday present. Oh dear.